Любовь с разницей в возрасте

I deserve to have my comment called a “diatribe”. It does contain that ranting bitterness that most women in the blogosphere dismiss as the vitriolic rambling of the male divorcee.

I agree that if you want to have children that a dual parent household is the best environment.

But you do not have the say over whether that will happen. Men are just “Dancing Monkeys” for women and almost every activity that a typical young man does is to prepare himself to be chosen by a woman and then to lay his offering at the feet of the goddess and she accepts or rejects him and his efforts. And there is little that he can do about it.

Think of all the shit that a young boy has to go through to prepare to get “chosen”. It starts effectively at 14. You could almost honestly say that if a boy fails Algebra II and certainly Algebra I, has effectively filtered himself out of having a successful marriage by 2012 standards. That’s a harsh thing to say, but I base that on divorce statistics and how the upper levels of income have divorce rates that are more like the 50s. And in western society, the common ingredient of economic success is educational attainment.

And men start down this path of study and work, and even then, in the sexual marketplace they can be discarded despite the work, despite the effort.

And this doesn’t end with getting married. If anything, it intensifies. You continually go through fitness testing and what the work of Rollo and other writers like is to expose how and why that it happens. And when a woman deems you unfit by whatever criteria she wishes to employ, be it income, dick size, mannerisms, whether you toss and turn in the bed at night, whether your political beliefs fit what she deems a proper parent should be, religion or any 700,000 things that she and she alone deems are grounds for disqualification. When she pushes you out and sicks the dogs of the legal system and the divorce industry on you, then your life set into an inflexible slavery that you cannot shake.

The next thing I am going to say is extremely controversial. Marriage is so Second Wave. And it is over. This opinion comes from an intellectual analysis. It is like Network TV. There will still people that do it and want it but it will no longer be the dominant form of social organization. It will die a slow death over a couple of generations and men don’t realize that this is true will get run over.

Margaret Mead said “Motherhood is a biological reality; Fatherhood is a social invention”. A lot of the other stuff she said about culture determining behavior should be thrown out, but this one sticks with me. Men are not naturally predisposed to be fathers. And that role is entirely defined by social conditioning. If you never had children, you will never miss that you didn’t. The Male Social Matrix does not have Fatherhood as a measure of your worth. Your accomplishments, you talents, your personality, you, who you are, give you your worth among men.

And I say there is a better way for a man to spend his life than as a father and as a husband. That fatherhood role may be beneficial to greater society but it is a perfect waste of a life for a man. I say this as someone that has been married for 17 years and has two kids. That husband/father role was about 10 years of my 57 years. There are some significant memories I had from that time. But there are other memories from before and after that are just as significant to me as those from that father/husband time.

And, all in all, that was a lonely and a stupid time in my life. I busted my ass for those people and now that I am divorced, I don’t even get birthday cards. Not one of those kids ever spent a day in day care, I paid out the ass for nannies. I drove the shit car so my wife and kids could ride in new cars and have that nanny. I lived in a stupid, insipid, boring ass suburb where the neighbors would complain if you left your garage door open because it didn’t look good. I was beneath the dogs in getting my desires and needs meet. And even to them I was secondary. At night when everyone was up in bed, the dog would start to head upstairs and leave me alone. It was just like the Richard Pryor line “Rich, you cool and all that. But you are little tardy with the chow so I’m heading upstairs”.

And then it all got ripped away from me. And jobs and economics took me out the city where they lived to somewhere else. And I started to change. I was a high tech IT worker because it was the way to make the most money and when I chose jobs that was the first filter, that money. Cube life. Corporate headquarters. Meetings. Diversity training. Sexual harassment seminars. Political correctness. Boredom. Office politics. Every now and then I got a respite working in a start up that was more of the male sandbox and less of the female swing set but then the enterprise would go public and the women would come in and the whole thing was turn into something else, something worse. I was pissed and angry all the fucking time between how I got treated at home and forcing a square peg personality into the round hole of major corporation life. I needed anti-depressants. I needed Viagra. I needed Xanax to sleep.

So now I am not that guy. And I no longer am a husband and a father. And when I look back on all that shit, I think just how stupid it all was and how there has to be a better way for a man to live his life. I don’t really do much right now but what I do is what I want to do and I make no sacrifices to anyone in doing it. And I don’t need anti-depressants or Xanax. The biggest deal was to be 10 years older, 57 years old, and to no longer need Viagra and return to having erections as hard and as long as when I was 30. Explain that.

If you still think that being a husband and a father is the ideal way that a man should spend his life then you have only taken half a dose of the Red Pill. I’ll admit I suffer from the Dark Triad of personality attributes, narcissism, psychopathic tendencies, Machiavellian attitudes and am prone to selfishness. But it is obvious to me, especially now after months and months of huge amounts of reading Red Pill essays, that the gender role played by American Men, particularly as a father and as a husband is pure sucker play. I seen both the good sides and the very dark sides of it. You have been conditioned (read ‘duped’) to think that it is what you should do. If you truly unplug, then that belief has to go.

And that is it in a nutshell. You can’t change what has happened nor what is going to happen. You can only accept it and plan your life accordingly based on reality and logic.

And I will say this over and over. We are in a new epoch of social organization. There is no going back. There is no cure, no magic bullet that will turn back gender relations to 1968. The world is going to evolve to some other form of social organization other than one that is based on the family, the nuclear family.

And I, for one, look forward to it. I do not wish to return to 1955. I like the freedom I have in 2012 far more than the slavery I had in 1992 and 2002. Imagine the flexibility I would have at this time if I had totally eschewed women and saved the money they cost me. I wish I had the attitude I have today towards them, one of scorn, of disdain, of dismissal, of “amused mastery”. Women, for so long, were this mirror that I used to judge myself, how they viewed me, how they accepted or rejected was so instrumental of my self esteem and in the determination of my actions.

So now I say fuck them. Stop living for them and live for yourself. Women should be a fucking hobby and not the central focus of your life.

There is no “One”. There is no soulmate. One is as good as another. None are worth sacrificing for, none are even worth your time more than to convince them to fuck you. They will never love you as you love them. Their love is opportunistic and conditional. And most of all, it is temporary until that better deal comes along. She will leave you bleeding on the side of the road if suits her hypergamy. If the next woman isn’t better than the one you left, then the one after that will be. They are all the same under the hood. The only reason you think you value them is that you have fallen for the scarcity model.

So get a clue, women are looking for a new economic order to replace men as the economic resource in their lives. So you need replace them as your center of focus. If you block them from placing the chains on you that they wish to impose, then their agenda will have little affect on the immediate reality of your personal life. If you never marry and have children then you will never be subject to a litany of shit. Yes, you will have to deal with the workplace reality of them and the economic ramifications of the new social order that they construct. But if you don’t have a wife and kids then you can be so much more flexible in how you can deal with it.

And if you do reject marriage, then you will know freedom and flexibility in way that no men that came before us ever knew. It is useless to try to find a way to make marriage work, to turn back the clock to some era when men were dominant, were family leaders, and honestly you have no idea if that time really ever existed. My dad was alpha and my mom and him jammed because he was. Maybe my paternal grandfather was the leader, but I am sure that was specific to who he married more than it was that it was institutional. My maternal grandfather surely wasn’t in control of his house. My maternal grandmother was dominant alpha bitch in that house. And my mother was her daughter. I feel that those times were just a different version of The Female Imperative that worked for women then but is no longer necessary now.

So yeah, there is a remnant of anger in my posts and a lot could be called a diatribe. But there is more intellectual analysis than my language might lead you to believe. My rejection of marriage is based on what I believe will come as well as in my own experience of it.

That you even wrestle with the concept that Game might be functional in marriage and what is alpha this and beta that just shows that you have not accepted reality for what it is. Let go. Let the transformation come over you and when it is done, you will be happier.